Valentine’s Day is a special occasion. It is the Day to honor the bride, groom, or couple who shares your days, which is partially correct. It is essential to honor not just that person who is unique in our lives, but also those other individuals we call friends and who we love so much that we share some secrets with no one else. I don’t have many such folks, but specific memories make me feel important to them. I am confident that I have met two remarkable individuals, and I want to tell you about them. Because the reading is lengthy, I’ll split it into two episodes to avoid exhausting you.
Friendship is straightforward and complicated to explain; diverse cultures define it differently. I found something interesting in the Wikipedia encyclopedia: “Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection. It is a stronger interpersonal bond than an acquaintance or an association, such as a classmate, neighbor, or colleague. In some cultures, friendship is restricted to a few relationships; in others, such as the US and Canada, a person could have many friends and a more intense relationship with one or two people who may be called best friends.” I fall into the definition of some cultures.
For me, the definition of friendship is not only knowing a person; it is something more profound. Friendship is loving a person. It is fraternization, in which the feelings expressed are mutual. That’s why the people I can call friends are reduced to a smaller number than the fingers I have on one hand.
In February, we call it the month of love and friendship. I want to pay tribute to some people I considered friends for once and for an abbreviated time.
When I moved from Kansas City (State of Missouri) to the Atlanta area, the few friends I had, I had to leave behind. That was unimportant, because I have lived without friends all my life. The first people we met in the Atlanta area, my wife and me, were the co-workers in the schools we worked at and the people who attend the Catholic Church we still follow. In the church, we met four people extremely compatible with my character who, by force, I had to call friends. Unfortunately, they are no longer part of this world so that I will use their names in this story.
Richard and Beth:
My wife and I befriended an American couple named Richard and Beth Lee. One Day, while we were walking through the aisles of Lowe’s store, a married couple greeted us from afar. I, who have a terrible memory of remembering faces, did not know whether to welcome them. I thought they were greeting other people because we were new to the area and didn’t know anyone. The man insisted, and I greeted him with my hand and told my wife what was happening. She looked and told me it was a church marriage. They came over and talked to us for a few minutes. The incident was strange because I’m not used to that kind of kindness. They went on their way, and I thought that greeting was casual and would not be repeated, but I was wrong. Over the weeks, that friendship became more genuine. Beth, Richard’s wife, seemed sympathetic to my wife. Whenever they saw each other, they talked for a few minutes.
One Saturday after the church service, Richard came up to us and told us that there was a celebration of friendship in the church hall, and he wanted to invite us. He had the vision to form a club for older people. We were not retired, but he wanted us to share at the celebration, and we were their guests. I didn’t intend to attend, but eventually, I accepted, and we had an enjoyable night. We had dinner with them, played bingo, and talked. It was a delightful evening. The living room was full of people who had a wonderful time.
Time passed, sometimes we went to Mass on Saturdays and sometimes to Sunday Mass. One Saturday, at the end of Mass, I told my wife that we hadn’t seen Richard for a long time. She told me she had noticed it, too. The following Saturday, we went to Mass, and at the service’s end, my wife informed me that Richard was at Mass. She stopped to greet him, but I wanted to leave the church because there were many people, and I was tripping over them coming out. Before leaving the building, I looked back and saw that my wife rested her head on Richard’s chest as if in a sense of grief. When I could talk to her, she told me she asked him about Beth because she wasn’t at Mass. Richard said to her that about a month ago, Beth had died. I felt such a great sorrow and the desire to meet Richard to hug him. I started strolling to give him time to leave the church, but it took so long that I continued to the place where my car was. In the distance, I saw him getting into his car and greeted him from afar. The sadness of that news lasted for a long time.
Weeks passed, and we rarely saw Richard. We saw him at church on Sunday, and he told us he wanted us to accompany him to his residence. We went to his house; he invited us to his bedroom and showed us his wife’s clothes to my wife; this was the conversation I remember between him and us.
Richard: What I’m going to do, I wouldn’t do with anyone, just with you. I still have Beth’s clothes. I would rather not give it to anyone, only you, Maria, but I want you to be honest with me. You can choose the clothes you want, but please, if you are not going to wear them, do not take them. I also want you to refrain from giving it to anyone.
Wife: No problem, Richard, and thank you for what you’re doing. I know this is exceedingly difficult for you.
My wife selected some clothes she thought she could wear. The conversation continued, and Richard, excited and looking at me, told me.
Richard: For me, Beth isn’t dead. Every night, I talk to her.
I looked at him, positively moved my head, and told him.
Me: I believe you, Richard, I know.
I invited him to our house, but he told me he did not socialize, and the conversation ended. We said goodbye, my wife thanked him, and the Friendship crystallized forever. After a few weeks, we saw him again at Saturday Mass. Leaving the church, I saw him talking to a few people, leaning on a cane. I should not miss the opportunity to speak with him. Overcoming my shyness, I walked over and greeted him. He stopped talking to others when he saw me and shook my hand. He addressed me in this way.
Me: How are you, Richard?
Richard: I’m walking with this cane, but I came here to say goodbye. I already want to be with my wife.
My wife came over and started talking to him. Then, other people surrounded him, and we had to leave. When I got into my car, I saw him in the distance and moved my hand; I said goodbye to him. It was the last time I saw him. A brief time later, we learned he had died. His daughter took him to where she lived, and the funeral acts were done as a family. The only thing I can say about these two humans is that I have never met people with better qualities and a sense of friendship, and I will never forget you, Richard, and Beth.
